I believe many people face such questions at some points of their lifes, but they just simply don't talk about it! Why? Because talking about it might make people feel that they are hypocrites.


Most of the time, making decisions in lifes are fun. However, there would be time when decision-making becomes a nuisance, especially when it involves others i know. Often, i found myself stuck with these questions, when i have to make a decision that affect others.


"Should i be selfish or selfless?"

"What would happen to others if i make this decision?"

"What would happen to me if i make this decision?"

"Should i make a decision that favours me, but not others? Or should i choose the otherwise?"



No matter how much i dislike such situations, i still have to make a decision! I really admire people who can make decisions in such situations instantaneously. They were never bothered by the decisions they made, and they were totally not being affected by the people around them.



For me, i think what took me so long to make a decision was that i just only think too much for others. I think of helping others. I think of making a decision that is a win-win situation for me and the people who are affected. I think of making others happy. I think of caring about the welfare of others.


Why do i say say only? Because at the end of the day, they were just thoughts.. The only thought that i put into action is to protect myself. There is never a win-win situation. Someone has to 'lose' and bear through it. Everytime i think of being selfless, thoughts in my mind would drag me back.



"Is it worth it? If today i am the one that would be affected by others' decisions, would anyone sacrifice for me to put me in the 'win' situation? If anything happens to me after i made the decision of 'losing', would the others that i have helped help me? Or would they just ignore me because it does not concern them at all?"



I grew up in a social circle of selfishness. I believe no one would put their thought of helping others to 'win' into action at their own cost. Maybe those who were being helped to'win' would feel sorry for the 'loser', but that's all they would feel.. I would not expect anything much! So what's the point of getting oneself affected when one could make a decision that does not affect oneself but others?


It's true that i am selfish, but before keying me into your selfish blacklist, think about it.. Are you not?